


Hashirama is an Idiot

by WebSurfer263



Category: Naruto
Genre: Comedy, Fluff, Gen, Hashirama and Tobirama are my Favorite!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-16
Updated: 2018-04-15
Packaged: 2019-04-23 13:53:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14333856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WebSurfer263/pseuds/WebSurfer263
Summary: A journal created by Tobirama and others that record the idiotic adventure of Hashirama!Entry #1 - Hashirama's War Relapse or Protect Precious People Mode





	Hashirama is an Idiot

**Author's Note:**

> Hello Everyone! I hope you enjoy this! I wasted a good 4 hours writing this because I was totally bored. These two kinda remind me of my younger sister and myself! We had a moment recently that could easily be translated into Hashirama and Tobirama. These two are my favorite pair of brothers in the whole series! I hope you like it! The S's are line breaks. Please enjoy!

 

“TOBIRAMA!!!” I duck a hug from my brother. “I LOVE YOU!!!”  _ Oh no, here we go again. _

S

Preface:

Some people call me an emotionless weapon. Others a heartless brother-murderer.  But, if anything, the sheer amount of irritation I get from my brother proves I’m at least living. Even growing up with Hashirama, I could tell he was an idiot. Now that he is Hokage, nothing has changed. His title, yes, but the idiocy levels still amaze me. I’ve never gotten use to it. I reckon I never will. It’s almost as if someone sealed his mental growth in a box and gave his ninja prowess a soldier pill. You’d think the smarter you get the stronger you become. Hashirama disproves that theory. It’s almost like he became even more innocent and oblivious as he aged. However, that could hardly be the worse thing to happen to his psyche. He could have caught Madara’s sense of humor. Nevertheless, Hashirama is still my elder brother, and I will always love him. Even if he is an idiot. 

Because he is an insufferable idiot, I decided to record his adventures in idiocy in this journal. Thus it will be called “Hashirama is an Idiot”. I, Tobirama, sadly have to be in his presence for a large majority of the day, will be recording the events as often as I can. The reason for this? I get bored. There is only so much jutsu you can create without wanting to smash your head into the wall. Also, as idiotic as Hashirama is, he is quite an amusing individual to observe. His facial expressions alone are almost enough to make me smile. Almost. 

To any shinobi who may find this(may I have lost it or given permission to read) please return it to myself, Senju Tobirama. This may be an account of the foolishness my brother gets himself into, but the memories will last a lifetime. However, if you do come across an occasion to be remembered, I have no ill will towards anyone that writes an event according to the subject stated. 

 

_ Senju Tobirama _

S

Entry 1

There are those occasional days were Hashirama seems to have a war relapse. These usually last an entire day. No one can bring him back to the world of the sane except sleep. Madara has given it a few tries, and so have I. At this point, we’ve all given up. Those days usually consist of no work being done and plenty of tears from the God of Shinobi. In that state, Hashirama is extremely unpredictable in action, and his mind seems to be stuck in a time when we were still children. However, the day always ends in the same way: Madara or myself trapped in his room with a sobbing Hokage on our lap. 

Hashirama’s war relapses mostly start normal. I get up at before the crack of dawn and start training in our wide backyard. I’ve always loved the world hours before sunlight touches the ground. The peacefulness of the atmosphere has always prepared me for the undaunting day ahead. The grass is still soaking in dew at this point, but water has never bothered me anyway.  Elder brother is still asleep in his room snoring with a line of drool staining his white pillow. I always go check on him in the morning and open his window. You never know what he could’ve done in his sleep. When I’ve finished my warm-ups, I can hear Hashirama slowly attempting to wake up. At this time, the sunlight has reached his window and is now shining in his face. Pausing to wait for the distraction to get his life together, I sit on the grass facing our small pond. After about 10 minutes pass and the loud murmuring ceases, I stand up and start practicing the usual katas. 

Now is when things start turning. I hear a loud crash in the kitchen, and I decide to check on Hashirama. Even if he is a little aloof in the mornings he always takes extra caution to the house and everything in it. I slide open the door and walked down the dim hallway to the kitchen. I am about 5 steps from the open doorway when I hear sniffling. At first, I take no concern. Hashirama is quite a sensitive crybaby when he’s not arguing with Madara. I take about one step into the brightly illuminated area when I immediately attempt to retreat. 

Slouching at the table holding an old portrait of our family is Hashirama. He has tears rolling down his tan cheeks and long strands of hair sticking to his face. His whole body is trembling as he caresses the object. A shaky hand climbs up to wipe some moisture from his face. He is sobbing uncontrollably. It really is a depressing and sorrowful sight. At this point, I know better. The light seems to make his tears more prominent, but I know that I need to get out of this vicinity before he sees me. Temporarily forgetting my shinobi abilities, I start backtracking as quietly as I possibly can to the hallway. You’d think this would be easy, knowing that Hashirama’s ears are probably clogged with the sound of his own tears, but in such moments of desperation my brain tends to override. I know that if I don’t get away from him I won’t be moving for the rest of the day. I just need to escape one step at a time. 

_ Creak _

It was in this moment that I knew that I epically failed. Hashirama’s brunette head snaps up. His gaze immediately finds me and pins me to the ground. Red iris’ meet brown. I stop. When in front of Hashirama in war relapse, it is best to not make any sudden moves. His tears stop and the shaking ceases. His large, innocent eyes are overflowing with grief and confusion. I’m holding my breath. Nothing seems to move. The world stops and breath is caught in my throat. He blinks those sorrowful eyes and brings the portrait into his line of sight. With the object visible, his eyes leave me and focus on the portrait. He stares in complete concentration. The tear tracks on his cheeks start to dry. He brings up his sleeve to wipe the tears. He sits extremely still. It almost seems like an eternity before he shows any signs of life. His eyes start to wander back to me. They narrow in consideration and long brown eyelashes blink in scrutiny. He gains more movement as his eyes travel between me and the portrait. Suddenly, the movement stopped, and Hashirama frowns. 

“Tobirama?” My name is almost indecipherable in the softness of his troubled voice. I don’t answer. Hopefully he’ll assume I couldn’t hear him. Maybe I can still escape. He looks back at the portrait. He looks back at me. I can feel a bead of sweat slide down my right cheek. My nervousness is starting to show. Standing under his critical gaze, my control starts to slip. 

“Tobirama? Is it really you?” He speaks louder. I decide to answer this time.

“Yes, Hashirama. What is the last thing you remember?” I’m impressed to hear my voice is still strong. It is not fitting for a shinobi to show weakness in the presence of a threat. 

His eyes expand. They largely resemble an owls. The piercing gaze locks onto me for at least a couple minutes. He slowly sets the portrait on the table. He placed the object artwork up with extreme gentleness. His right hand rubs the wood frame in a farewell caress. Hashirama stands with a surprising amount of grace and faces my direction. In less than a second, tears start pouring down his cheeks again and the sobbing resumes. 

“TOBIRAMA!!!” I duck a hug from my brother. “I LOVE YOU!!!”  _ Oh no, here we go again.  _ I hear a loud thump as Hashirama hits the floor. I start sprinting down the hallway using all the speed I can muster in my panicked state. My freedom doesn’t last long. I trip and cast my gaze to my left foot. A strong root that has burst through the floorboards has tightly possessed my ankle.  _ Crap.  _ I try to wrench my leg from the plant before Hashirama catches up. However, the root stays undaunted and only squeezes harder. I take one last glance at the outside world not too far from my reach. The breeze runs through the grass and kicks up the fallen leaves. The sound of rustling foliage reaches my ears. Birds flying high in the sapphire sky. The water sparkles with the sun rays assistance. It’s so peaceful. 

“TOBIRAMA!!! PLEASE COME BACK! DON’T LEAVE ME, LITTLE BROTHER! I PROMISE I’LL PROTECT YOU FROM THE UCHIHA!!!!!” Hashirama’s voice echoes through the house. The noise sounds soaked in tears. It is at this time when I resign the rest of my day to make Hashirama happy. 

“I’m here, Hashirama! I’m not going anywhere!” I shout into the silence following my brother’s outburst. The sound of hurried footsteps echo in the wood as my head hits the floorboards. I rest my hand under my chin and case my gaze longingly outside.  _ Well, at least Hashirama will have a good day.  _

“Tobirama! I’m coming!” A sigh leaves my lip as my elder brother draws near. “There you are! Why did you run away from me?! Don’t worry! I’ll protect you!” The tears seem to have disappeared from the scene, and Hashirama appears to be more giddy than normal. His smile stretches across his face as the root holding me captive recedes. “Come on, little brother!” He hauls me up in his arms and carries me down the hall. It’s best not to resist at this stage. You don’t want Hashirama to get… aggressive. “You’ve really grown, Tobirama! I wonder how strong you are now!” 

_ This may take a while. _

  
  
  


5 minutes later:

Hashirama is as talkative and sensitive as ever. He won’t stop talking. He carried me all the way up to his room and barricaded the door. It’ll be about 3 hours before anyone realises anything and sends help. Well, I don’t think they could do anything anyway. It is almost impossible to help anyone when Hashirama is in Protect Precious People mode. 

“Ah, Tobi! I really wish you would grow your hair out like mine! I wish I could braid it!” A hand gently runs through my pale locks while the other rests on my shoulder. Hashirama is sitting behind me now creating accessories out of wood to stick in my hair.

“Hashirama, if you really want to braid someone’s hair so badly, why don’t you use Madara’s hair?” He pauses in thought and tugs on my hair. 

“Well, Madara’s hair is all tangles and knots. If I’m gonna decorate someone’s hair, it has to be silky! Like mine! And yours!” He beams and treads a wooden bead in my hair. 

“Hmph. Madara’s hair is much silkier than yours, brother.”

“EHH!...*sniffle*....I’m sorry, I just thought…” The sniffles start to rise in volume, and Hashirama’s eyes fill with fresh tears.

_ Well, at least that’s manageable. I might have some fun with this. _

“Calm down, Hashirama. I was just making a joke.” The sniffling abruptly stops, and Hashirama pokes his head around to look at my face. I raise a calculated eyebrow at him. A small smile starts to grow on my elder brother’s face. 

“Oh! I knew you were joking, Tobirama! I was just-” I smile as Hashirama starts his endless one-sided conversation.

_ This idiot. Maybe this day won’t be so terrible after all.  _

  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> So, how did you like it? I made myself laugh rereading it....
> 
> Anyway, if you guys have any suggestions or prompts for me I would love to try them out! Nothing NSFW or anything! Other than that I will try to create any prompt you throw my way!
> 
> Prompts? Suggestions? Anything? Any positive feedback is welcome!


End file.
